A Path Set Forth By Another

A Path Set Forth By Another  

 I am not the first to go to college in my family and I'm certainly not going to be the last. From the adults to the kids graduating high school, there is not one uneducated soul in the bunch. Ever since immigrating from Jamaica twenty years ago, my family has seen education as the primary factor in their success My grandmother has twelve children. Each of them has at least 2 or more kids of their own. The number of graduations I've attended in my brief stint on this planet surely makes my head spin. Each of my relatives going off to college has truly been and honor and certainly an inspiration, most importantly my sister.   

Technically she is only my half sister, but what she has done for me is surely beyond the partial genetics we share. I didn't meet her until she was just beginning college. She lived at home, commuting to Mercy College in Dobbs Ferry. I would watch her as she studied for multiple tests, scanning through the dead trees scattered across her bed. The countless books she had to digest class by class, semester by semester. She would eventually have to buy her own bookshelf to hold all the books she would be using. This is something I am realizing that I should probably invest in as well.  

 As she went through college I noticed how her vocabulary developed from what I could understand to a language I have yet to learn. Seeing as she pursued not only her bachelor's degree, but also a master's and doctorate as well, the language barrier between us only grew. It seemed clear during this time in my life that if I wanted to truly know and converse with my sister that I would have to educate myself.  

I started educating myself to better understand my sister when I was 8 years old and my mother had gotten me an Oxford dictionary as a birthday present. An unfortunate and unwelcomed gift but it was for the best I suppose. The dictionary went weeks without being opened until I finally cracked it open. I was watching TV when a character said a word I had not heard in my days until that moment. Although I can't remember the character nor the word, I reached for the dictionary and there it was: the word I longed to understand in black and white lettering. From that point forward I was hooked. Without hesitation I would reach for the dictionary for any and every reason I could find. I would read a book and keep the dictionary at my side just in case. This made me feel easier about reading books above my grade level and made talking more powerful when I spoke to my sister. It became a joke as I got older. Whenever one of us decided to flex our vocabulary muscles, the other would say "OOOO! SAT word of the day?" and we laugh every time.     

My sister often spent most of her time in the living room where we kept the computer. She would bring her blanket and pillow while she comfortably and rather intensely went through her assignments. She would go days without sleeping in her own bed, flipping over the cushions of the couch to make sure she did not leave a dent. She was stressed, on edge, struggling, and yet she still got through it all. Even as I struggled she always had words of encouragement for me, "You ain't seen anything yet kiddo". They're not the usual inspiring words but they did make me realize that I would have to become better as I progress, not hope for everything to become easier. Her words came from experience. She had two jobs and went to college. Often coming home just to sleep before heading off to a fresh day with a tired mind. That did not make her weak but it made her stronger mentally. Looking back at it, I'm here trying to balance one job and work and she managed to balance two jobs and graduate on time.    

I've always felt the need to follow my sister's footsteps. Partly because she inspired me, but mostly because I felt the pressure to do so. Being her youngest and only son, I was and to regret still am treated by my mother as though I still don a Mickey Mouse onesie. For years it seemed as though my mother wanted me to strive to be my sister. The actuality of the matter is that she wanted me to succeed as my sister had. It took me a while to understand it but I finally did. I wasn't meant to follow my sister's footsteps but rather walk parallel to them. I am meant to make my own path leading to success. Having my sister around as she built a life for herself made me put things into perspective. My family's emphasis on education truly transformed me. It made me retain the words and topics I have learned instead of only browsing them enough to get a good grade. Words are no longer empty to me but full of meaning and intention. And I owe this all to my sister's footsteps that I now walk along.